There’s a special kind of person at airport baggage claim who parks themselves directly against the carousel and settles in like they own waterfront property.
Bag hasn’t arrived.
Nobody’s bag has arrived.
But they’ve secured the shoreline.
Behind them, the rest of us are trying to see through their head.
Here’s a revolutionary idea: stand back a few feet. When your bag appears, step forward and get it.
I realize this requires believing your suitcase can travel the final six feet without your supervision.
Then there’s the person who brings the entire family up to the belt.
Two adults. Three kids. A luggage cart parked sideways.
Are you collecting your bags or defending a border?
One person can watch for the luggage. The others can stand somewhere that doesn’t require arriving passengers to negotiate passage through your household.
And if somebody says, “Excuse me, that’s my bag,” move.
Don’t sigh. Don’t give them a dirty look. Don’t shift half an inch and expect them to extract fifty pounds of luggage through the opening between your elbow and your spouse.
I’m trying to get my suitcase, not deliver a fucking calf.
Of course, when THEIR bag arrives, suddenly everyone needs to clear a runway.
Out comes the arm. Around swings the suitcase. Anyone standing nearby gets an involuntary ankle inspection.
A little awareness would help.
Look before you lift. Move away once you have your bag. And please don’t stop directly in front of the carousel to extend the handle, check your phone, rearrange your coat, and hold a family meeting about transportation.
You have your luggage. Your work here is finished.
We’ve all been on a plane. We’re tired. We want to leave.
Your trip home does not require everyone else to become an obstacle course contestant.
Stand back. Make room. Get your bag.
It shouldn’t take an airport announcement to explain basic manners.